Me and Adri on New Years

For New Years Eve we had a big party at my mom and stepdad's house. Lots of kids and family all having a fun time listening to Elvis and 50's music. This is my niece Adrianna. She is the funniest kid. We were watching cows out by the pool one day and the big cow headbutted the little cow and made it move away from us. I said to her "Oh, did you see that cow just hit the little one Adri"? ad she says "Yeah, that's probably the wife." She cracks me up. I love how little kids just call it how they see it. I am like that sometimes. Mom calls me her truth teller. Some people really hate that trait I have and I do try to sensor it to times when it is asked of me... but once in a while, my literal-ness will emerge and things just rip from my lips. I am channeling it from somewhere, cause most times I don't even remember what I say and people always come back to me and say, "Man, you were so right about what you told me..." and I am all.. "Huh, what did I say?"

Anyway... as I continue on my 1000 quest... I find things shifting with each 100 items. I will think of one thing, which prompts another thought and then I am off on a tangent of thoughts. So I now have decided to let it rip. No planning or categorizing of items or the list... just letting it flow as I think of it. It also gives you a little insight into my thought process... which is kinda kooky in itself. Disregard the numbers, they are all jacked up and I am too tired to go back and retype them all. it is number 301 to 400

101. got ran over by the meanest boy in school on his bike
102. jumped out of a tree into a bucket of water like in the cartoons and sprained my ankle
103. played bullfighter with my brother and cousin, had them run from both directions at the cape and they butted heads and I cried with them because I didn’t know it would happen (hey, I was 3)
104. jumped up and down on my parents footstool, pretending it was a stage while I sang “Hey hey we’re the Monkees”
105. was hospitalized for asthma as a kid frequently
106. sliced my wrist open when cutting fudge with a knife and had to get stitches
107. got gas from a chainsaw on my leg and it burned so my friends grandpa spat on my leg to make it feel better
108. was told by my grandma many times, “the more you cry the less you gotta pee”
109. was given a negligee with a fur trim on the hem by my grandma to keep my neck warm
110. got lost walking home from school in 1st grade and accepted a ride from a stranger who offered to take me home (it was 1969)
111. watched my dad butcher a deer with morbid fascination
112. attended my first funeral at 14… My friends brother who was hit by a car
113. saw Elton John and met my friend Debi in the bathroom by chance while there
114. I have a mysterious black hole in my home where important things go and are never found again. W2’s, cell phone, makeup, car keys, rings
115. we have a little green man in our house who moved in when I had a son. He makes messes, and breaks things, and spills on my carpets. His name is I Don’t Know, but I have never seen him. Only my kids do.
116. my grandpa gave me the nickname runkledunk when I was a baby
117. watching my kids perform in the school productions are my proudest moments
118. I survived 2 marriages and a relationship that produced 4 kids and I never became jaded about love and marriage
119. I love to sing and even took lessons for a while
120. watched The Notebook with my husband and we both cried our eyes out, and promised afterward that if one of us became ill like that, the other would take care of them and remind them every day of how much they are loved
121. watched a sunrise over Mt. Vesuvius
122. saw the quarry where they cut pink and green marble in Italy
123. toured a tile factory in Spain where they make terrazzo tiles
124. felt a terrible sadness when seeing the plaster castings of the bodies of people killed in the Pompeii ruins
125. met a lovely couple from Florida on a sunset cruise in Aruba who became our friends
126. learned that Americans dress in a “Typical” way when they travel.. Hawaiian shirts and jeans and tennis shoes. Even Pascual, a Spanish citizen was mistaken for American while we were in Europe
127. had my tubes tied at the age of 33 and regretted it every day since
128. saw John Mellencamp in concert
129. ate gelato in Milan while shopping in the world famous fashion mall
130. couldn’t hold hands with my husband in the catholic churches in Italy because public displays of affection are not allowed in church
131. I have had the same best friend for 30 years
132. first time I smoked a cigarette was in the 5th grade
133. got busted by my mom for reading a pornographic book at age 10
134. used to read the cartoons in my dad’s playboy magazines at age 7
135. my dad brought me a treat in his lunchbox every day until I was 5
136. rode a bucking bronc horse at 18 mos old. She bucked off everyone but me.
137. rode in my uncles hydro boat Quicksilver at 120 mph on the delta
138. climbed to some Indian caves on the cliffs above Lake Commanche
139. slid down a rock slide into a pool of freezing snow melt water on the Consumne river
140. drove through the Mojave desert
141. spent 4 days in Las Vegas and only gambled 2 quarters
142. watched the Bellagio water fountain show
143. walked the entire Las Vegas strip in July
144. had a cheeseburger in paradise at the restaurant on Maui
145. saw a magic show in Lahaina where a guy pulled 2 bowling balls out of a hat
146. visited the 7 sacred pools in Hana
147. watched surfers at Pipeline
148. picked up sand dollars at Stinson Beach
149. ate lunch on top of Mt. Tamalpias at a restaurant overlooking the whole bay area
150. bought Mexican opals in Cabo San Lucas
151. saw the Crystal Cathedral in Los Angeles
152. stayed at the Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego
153. visited the San Diego Mission
154. visited the cathedral of the virgin de Guadalupe in Mexico City
155. saw thousands of VW beetle cars in Mexico City
156. saw a man wait on a corner with flowers for an hour before leaving
157. Saw the Chagall exhibit at the SFMOMA
158. ate at a great Brazilian churascerria in Chicago
159. saw Sophia Loren’s house in Capri
160. had a midnight taxi ride with a crazy Italian driver named Mauro
161. got my hair done by Angel, the gay hairdresser to the stars for my wedding in Spain
162. met 4 ladies in Italy that called themselves las chicas de oro (the Spanish golden girls) and they actually looked like them too.
163. sat on the Spanish Steps in Rome
164. Took the ferry to Venice
165. saw the sunrise over the Adriatic Sea
166. I can watch a movie and a few weeks later watch it again and not remember what happened
167. I didn’t get a cell phone until 2003
168. went to the Carmel mission
169. visited the Santa Barbara Mission
170. Saw the San Francisco Mission
171. Toured the San Juan Capistrano Mission
172. been to the Sonoma mission
173. had a beer at the Hog’s Breath Inn in Carmel (Clint Eastwood’s old bar)
174. drove the 13 mile drive in Carmel
175. Saw the Lone Cypress
176. made a chocolate cake with sauerkraut as the key ingredient and no one believed me
177. vinegar on strawberries makes them taste sweeter
178. a shot of Frangelico followed by a bite of a lemon wedge dipped in sugar tastes like chocolate cake
179. brought macadamia nuts to Maui from California
180. picked up 2 hitchhiking surfers in Lahaina
181. been to big trees state park and saw the giant sequoias
182. went on a tour of the gold mine where they discovered gold in California
183. took a tour of Moaning Caverns in California
184. saw a rack of pig leg hams at the grocery store in Spain with the hooves still on
185. saw pig face in the meat section of the store in Spain
186. ate paella for the first time in castelldefels at a restaurant called Gioconda
187. had gazpacho for the first time in Tarrasa, Spain
188. walked in the monestario de piedra gardens in the snow and saw frozen waterfalls
189. built a snowman in Tahoe with a leprechaun hat
190. had a surprise party for my 30th birthday at the Cadillac Ranch
191. had my daughter tell me her friend was blacktoast intolerant
192. my daughter said to me, “in Spain, they don’t have Santa Claus, just the 3 wise guys and a present pooping log.”
193. in Barcelona they have Cago Tio, (uncle crap) and on Christmas morning they hit him with a stick and sing a song that translates “Uncle crap, crap us out a present or we will hit you harder.”
194. My youngest daughter told her brother if he didn’t behave and stop being mean to mommy, he would have to move out and get his own apartment like daddy
195. my daughter Kayleigh can’t eat assorted candies without sorting them by shape and color first
196. my son Zack says if you eat a whole bag of plums, they give you to poop juice
197. my son Austin told me he was gonna be a cowboy and ride cows when he grew up, not like cousin Karl the horse boy. He wasn’t a real cowboy because he rode a horse.
198. my girls always have to take a bunch of “stuff” with them everywhere they go
199. my niece and I were watching some cows when a big one came and butted the smaller one in the side and made it move away. When I said “Oh did you see that?” she says “Yeah, that must be the wife.”
200. when my son Zack was mad at his dad (a diehard Raiders fan) he told his dad, “That’s it, from now on I like the Broncos”