tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59948479851748636052024-03-05T01:12:00.299-08:00Adventures of the Art Junk GypsyKaran Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.comBlogger285125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-24487066368759933972020-05-18T22:39:00.000-07:002020-05-21T22:41:54.564-07:00Lessons in love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Anyone who ever saw Pascual and I together knew how much we loved each other. We were very demonstrative. Hugging, kissing, holding hands all the time. It was obvious how we felt about each other. <br />
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I never realized until after his death how unusual that is for the culture he came from. All of his friends and family are lovely people. They hug and kiss hello and goodbye. But I have never seen any if the couples hold hands or kiss or put their arms around each other. Funny I never noticed it. I thought everyone was like us until a Spanish friend of mine pointed out that it is not their way to be demonstrative. <br />
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I know it is one of the things Pascual really loved about me. He liked being hugged and kissed. It made him feel loved. I liked it too. We were very alike in that. I was thinking about love a lot over the past couple of weeks. How it endures and sharpens into clearer focus after the death of your partner. <br />
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I have come to know that Pascual, in his decision to end his life, was trying to love me the best way he could in his pain. He made sure I would not be sued. He signed and mailed off his severance package so I would get the money. He sacrificed his life so I could have a better, easier life financially without him.<br />
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I am having a very hard time with this... how do I come to terms with the fact that he truly believed I would be better off without him. All of these things have been rolling around in my head for several days now...<br />
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I usually wake up and cry. Sunday morning I woke up with the song Blue Skies, smiling at me... nothing but blue skies do I see... stuck in my head. I was singing it and Kayleigh said, “you’re in a good mood this morning.” I thought about it and said that I woke up with it rolling around in my head. I must have dreamed it. I have dream soundtracks. <br />
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I spoke to a friend and talked to her about how bad I was feeling about the things I’ve come to know about how Pascual thought to sacrifice himself for me. I spoke of my pain and grief over it, as well as my difficulty accepting it. My friend said “that’s love Karan. It may seem really screwed up to us... but even in his pain and darkest moments... he loved you. His final actions were of love in protecting you as much as he could.” I thought about what she said. It was a different perspective. Something I could look for the gift in. He loved me. I still feel his love for me every day. <br />
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I’ve been trying to watch a Star Trek show called Picard on tv all last week. I kept falling asleep during the last episode. Like literally 8 times. So after having my tea, I decided to put the show on and finally watch the end. Spoiler alert, captain Picard and Data have a conversation about death. Data wanted his whole life to feel actual love. He asks Picard to let him go... to let him die. A doctor was using his neurons to build more synthetic life forms so he was essentially trapped in a hologram forever. Unable to truly die and move on. Data says... (I’m paraphrasing somewhat..“we live, however briefly knowing that our life is finite. Human mortality gives meaning to life. Peace, love, friendship. These are precious because we know they cannot endure.” Then while they are having this conversation, the song I’ve been singing all morning, Blue Skies comes on in the room where they are visiting. Picard says he was upset with Data for sacrificing his life for Picard, when Picard had planned to do the same thing. Data says, “if you can sacrifice your life for love of me, why can you not accept that I would do the same for you?” <br />
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Here is where I lose it. I’m blubbering like a baby, because Pascual has sent me a very deep message about his love for me. All I can say in the moment is “Star Trek?! You didn’t even LIKE Star Trek.” I hear his voice echo in my ear... “No, but you did darling...”<br />
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So my day started out with a loving message from him, with many layers of validation so I would see that it truly was him. He is with me still. Helping me through the pain. Sending me comforting messages. Taking tender care of me as he used to say. I’m learning to just go with it when these things happen. And the more open I am, the more I see things from new perspectives. I miss him so much... but yesterday, for the first time since his death, I actually felt like I am going to make it through this. Thanks to a love that keeps on... even in DeathKaran Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-83042352783240915032020-05-15T22:38:00.000-07:002020-05-21T22:39:18.673-07:00Honeymoon memories<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Found this little reminder of our honeymoon after the California wedding. 28 days in Hawaii on Maui, Kauai and Oahu. What a beautiful trip. Only one brief mention of the trip to the emergency room. <br />
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It’s a really funny story... and I need funny right now. However it is long... just saying...<br />
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Sometime between the wedding and the week later when we left for Hawaii, I strained my rotator cuff. For the first 10 days on Maui I walked around with my arm hurting. Pascual carries my hot pink purse everywhere for me... and kept suggesting we go to the Dr. finally I agreed that I would go when we got to Kauai. I call Kaiser to get pre-approval for an ER visit and they tell me there is a hospital on Maui. Great. We just left Maui and are now in Kauai. They tell me to go to the nearest ER and they will cover it. I call to get directions to the hospital. The lady answering the phone says.. “when you come out of airport you go Burger King way or Kentucky Fried Chicken way to Poipu?” Huh? “Honey do you remember seeing a BK or a KFC when we turned on the highway? “ He says “No, I don’t recall... “. I tell her we came down highway number blah blah because I couldn’t pronounce the Hawaiian name. “Well, I need to know if you come da KFC or BK way cause Hawaiian people doan read da numbahs.” So we figure our we came the BK way.. She tells me to go back to the BK and past the Hilo Hatties and behind that parking lot is the hospital. Sounds perfectly logical to me and is exactly the way I give directions. We head off to the ER. Yes, strained rotator cuff... here is a sling. Don’t use your arm for the rest of the trip, follow up with your doctor when you are on the mainland. Ok. Got it.<br />
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Scratch the canoeing trip and zip line tour we had booked, cause I can’t do them now...<br />
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The next morning, I wake up and put in my contact lenses... and one tears and rolls up under my eyelid. There are Louvered doors on the bungalow we are in to let in the trade winds. I’m shouting “oh my god, it hurts, pull it out!” Then when he tries to help me I scream “Ow it’s hurting me, don’t touch me, get away.. “ I finally get both pieces out of my eye, and I can’t see anything out of my eye. Pascual says, “let’s go back to the hospital and have them look at it.” I start crying. “No, I’m not going back to the f-ing hospital.” We are going to our luau we booked. <br />
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Mind you we have a snorkel trip booked in 2 days and I needed contacts to see in a mask... so I call home and have them overnight me another pair of lenses, hoping my eye will be ok enough to snorkel in 2 days. As we leave the bungalow, people are staring at us... and when we come back from the drug store and I’m wearing an eyepatch, they stare even more. <br />
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That night, I get up in the middle of the night to pee... an eyepatch on one eye, no glasses on in a dark unfamiliar room. I walk into the bathroom... Bam! Straight into the bathroom door that my new husband has courteously shut after using. I break my pinkie toe. As I’m hopping around screaming again hollering that it hurts and why would you do that?... “I was being a gentleman” he says apologetically as I’m tripping over furniture and making another noisy ruckus that the neighbors around us hear... he offers to take me to the hospital again. I cry and tell him no because I’d broken my pinkie toe before and all they did was tape it to the next toe. “We’ll go to the pharmacy in the morning and get tape.” <br />
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In the morning when we are walking to the car, I’m limping with a sling and an eyepatch.. the people next door to us ask me if I’m all right. I’m crying as I tell them what has happened and how jinxed I am on our honeymoon. They smile but still look suspiciously at Pascual as they walk away. This is our third day on Kauai. We canceled everything we had booked except the helicopter tour and a snorkel trip. I couldn’t walk on the beach because I couldn’t bend my toe on the sand. Couldn’t swim for the same reason, along with the shoulder. Pascual teases I could swim in a circle since it was my left side that was affected, I could use the right arm and leg. I don’t think it’s very funny. <br />
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We rented videos and watched movies in the room for 2 days, sweltering in the heat with no AC because most people are out at the beach during the day when it’s hot, the rooms don’t have AC. Then he said “To Hell with this... let’s go baby, we can still go shopping.” I hobbled around with him to every store... a sling, an eyepatch, sock on my hurt toe foot and a flip flop on the other, limping like Quasimodo. He was carrying my pink purse. We bought stuff for me to make a scrapbook of the trip. <br />
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On the way back he wanted to stop and check out the pool. We figured out that I could go in the pool if I wrapped my good arm around his neck and shoulders from behind and he just towed me around the pool everywhere. So that’s what we did for most of the days. <br />
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I was able to hobble out to the beach for sunsets with tennis shoes on, so we saw sunsets. We went to a replica Hawaiian village where they filmed the movie Outbreak. We saw the falls from Fantasy Island and the Fern Grotto... and had lots of beautiful dinners eating fresh Pan Pacific cuisine. <br />
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Every night I cried that I was ruining our honeymoon... and he would smile and say... “I know you are sad now baby, but one day we will tell the story of this trip and we will laugh our asses off.” He was so great about things like that. He saw the humor in everything... even the shitty stuff. And he was right. We did laugh every time we told the story. It was one of our favorites. I’m reminded of all of our special moments in what I thought was a crappy trip at the time. Now I see the gifts. Lots of time together. Him taking tender care of me. Being in our favorite place in the world. He said to me once with his sweet accent when I was crying... “Hey, we are together. I love you... can’t you find it in your heart to smile at your new husband?” And I did. He brought out the best in me. Even when I was at my worst. He always found a way to make everything special.Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-57988483386651686732020-05-14T22:31:00.000-07:002020-05-21T22:31:48.435-07:00Happy 47th anniversary Darling<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When I talk about how I will never find another man like Pascual... I really mean it. He married me four times. Four ceremonies, four wedding rings, four honeymoons. He wanted to have a ceremony every month. That way if we forgot an anniversary we would just pick it up the next one. Our next was going to be in Vegas in July in an Elvis love chapel by an Elvis impersonator. <br />
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If you add all of them up we would have hit 50 anniversaries by the end of this year. We were looking forward to celebrating 50 anniversaries in Spain for the Christmas holidays. I don’t know of another man who would want to marry his wife 12 times. Willingly! And his idea to begin with. <br />
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He was romantic. He loved to go for moonlight walks on the beach. He enjoyed watching and photographing sunsets as much as I did. We loved snorkeling in Hawaii holding hands while we watched the fish and turtles. He liked picnics on the beach and hikes to waterfalls, constantly on the lookout for wild orchids. He loved whales and dolphins. The time we went snorkeling in Maui and ended up in a pod of dolphins, he was like a little kid watching them flip and jump all around us. <br />
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The kids found out we were eloping and asked us not to run away and get married. They were very insistent that they wanted to be there as a part of the ceremony. So we planned another wedding at my Mom and Teens house with local family and friends. Pascual’s best friends Vicente and Laura came from Spain with his cousin Olga and her husband Alberto and his Godmother Maria Jesus and her son Ramon. It was another day of laughter, dancing and more tears of joy. My mother performed the ceremony. My sons walked me down the aisle. His friends stood up with him as best man and women. His Godmother was at his side in Spanish marriage tradition. My girls were a bridesmaid and flower girl. The day was perfect. The weather was warm, we drank wine smuggled from Spain in his friends luggage. <br />
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We had 2 beach weddings, a vineyard wedding and a wedding in a castle. This anniversary is from the vineyard wedding at my parents house. As I look through the photos of the day, I remember how incredibly happy we were. I chuckle at how little the kids were. I remember feeling so lucky to marry my soul mate a second time in front of all my friends and family. <br />
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We were 40 years old. We had become a family. We were a team together to face all the storms in life. We didn’t know of the things that were coming. We didn’t know the real estate market would tank and we would lose everything. We didn’t know that he would spend 7 years trying to get back into the business he left before finding the right job in that industry again. We didn’t know that we would have to start over financially three times over the next 15 years. We battled so many obstacles, and survived so many hardships... through it all we never stopped loving each other. We never gave up on each other or our dreams. We kept working toward our goals. <br />
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I look at the path ahead of me now and I can’t imagine taking it alone. I look for the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s dark and endless. I don’t know how to dream without him. I’ve become so accustomed to sharing everything with him down to the smallest detail, that I don’t know how to go on without him. I’m completely lost in the pain. This has been a sad week with a lot of crying. <br />
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I’m trying darling. Trying to move on. Trying to forgive you and forgive myself. I’m trying to hold on to the good memories and let them flood me full of warm feelings. I’m trying but it’s such an effort to get out of bed and get dressed each day. Facing a third celebration day without you in three weeks is a lot to take. You sure picked a crappy time. I’m trying to be gentle and patient with myself through this process, but all I can feel is the incredible emptiness of your absence. So again, I celebrate these milestones without you. The victory hollow. The taste bitter with the ashes of these dreams we had that are no more. <br />
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I love you... I miss you... I want you back my darlingKaran Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-55466646318061301732020-05-07T22:28:00.000-07:002020-05-21T22:28:32.744-07:00A beautiful quote <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Grief never ends . . .</div>
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but it changes. </div>
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It’s a passage, </div>
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not a place to stay. </div>
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Grief is not a sign of weakness, </div>
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nor a lack of faith . . .</div>
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It is the price of love.</div>
<br />Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-12142813909930457012020-05-06T22:23:00.000-07:002020-05-21T22:23:55.138-07:00The way he loved me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We met on line one night when I had insomnia. I will save the whole love story for another post... but for now, suffice it to say that we spent 6 months talking on the phone and emailing each other before we ever met in person. The first thing I loved about him was his beautiful voice. So animated. The tone resonated in my ear. We spent hours on the phone. I wore headphones so it was clear in my ear. A softly accented, soothing voice that made me tingle when I heard it. He would sing to me sometimes. He had a beautiful singing voice. Other times he would speak to me in different languages. It was kind of like having different lovers. He was always chuckling and cracking jokes. My love for him started with his voice. </div>
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He was the Ricky to my Lucy. More than anything he liked to make me laugh. I loved how he would revert to Spanish words when he was angry and “Ricky Ricardo out” with his temper tantrum. One time in the early day’s when his accent was thicker he got road rage and yelled at the guy in English ”Ju.. ju... hole of the ass!” Then he started cursing a blue streak just like Ricky used to do to Lucy. I’m in the passenger seat holding my stomach laughing because it was hilarious. He looks at me all pissed of and says “When you laugh at me, it loses all its force!” I just giggled and repeated “hole of the ass”. And we both started cracking up. It was one of our favorite curse words after that. </div>
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He had no problem being the butt of a joke, but where he really shined was with puns on words. His friends would tell me he was hilarious in Spanish. I thought he was funny in English too. Over time, he tried so hard to make puns on words in English and quite often it did not work. I started telling him he wasn’t funny in English, but he knew I thought he was, when it was natural. When he forced it, not so much. Every once in a while he would come up with a gem that was so funny, people would tell it and retell it over again. </div>
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My favorite was this time he came up to me and all the skin on his face was dry and peeling. I would usually say, “Honey you need lotion, your face is all peely. “. He would usually say, “No I’m Pascual, my sister is Pili.” But this time instead, he looked at me really serious and said ”I know... I have a reptile disfunction.” Classic Pascual. </div>
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Quite often if we were late to a party people would call and ask us when we were going to arrive. He would laugh at me and say, “Apparently the party doesn’t start until I get there.” He loved to make people laugh. He would have people gathered in a circle and would have the men doubled over and the women crossing their legs laughing so hard they were going to pee themselves. I liked to stand back a bit during those times and observe. It made me happy to see him so happy. </div>
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He wanted to be everything to me. He would pretend he was galloping up to me on a horse like Prince Charming. Making the horses hoof noises and prancing like he was on a stick pony, and then make the horse whinney noises. “Hola Princessa, do you come frequently here?” And I would die laughing. He was trying to say “Do you come here often?” but he got it wrong. He would say it the wrong way every time just to make me laugh. </div>
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He would dance around in his bikini brief underwear doing a sexy dance for me but he would purposely make it funny. Everything he did was funny. </div>
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He would grab me in the kitchen and start dancing with me in his version of a very bouncy waltz. Singing softly in his beautiful voice, a song to the tune of a song I knew, but whose words he didn’t. So he’d sing on with completely made up words like raka fraken fraller. </div>
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He would hear a song he liked with a lot of guitar and he would put his arms around me and use me as his air guitar. I had to ask him to stop sometimes because in his exuberance he would leave bruises. </div>
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Every time he left for work or left for a trip he would kiss my cheek and tell me goodbye. I got to the point where I would sleep through it. On his last day in this world he said quite loudly in my ear, “Goodbye darling... I love you! “. I was surprised he was so loud that it woke me. I reached up to stroke his cheek and down his arm and told him, “Goodbye darling. I love you too. Have a good day.” </div>
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Had I known it would be his last, I would have gotten up to give him a big hug, felt his arms around me one more time. But that voice in my ear... It was the first thing I ever knew of him when we met on line so long ago... and the last thing I knew of him before he left this world. I cling to the memory of it. I hold the sound of it in my heart. I listen to the two voicemails I have of him over and over so I can feel that little tingle I always get when I hear his voice in my ear. </div>
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All of these things I took for granted. I assumed they would always be here. Now I am left with memories, photos, a few emails and a couple of voicemails. I wish I had taken more. I wish I had enjoyed and savored everything more. It is so difficult now for me to recall these times without crying. I know the day will come when i will just laugh and remember him fondly with a chuckle and a “Yeah, he was great at that.” But for now... I remember and cry for the loss of him. The huge loss of his light in the world, and the incredibly sad and wasteful loss of such a fine human being. If anyone ever excelled in the art of being human... it was Pascual.</div>
<br />Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-21451326632942257422020-04-30T22:18:00.000-07:002020-05-21T22:20:40.211-07:00Little signs everywhere<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The past few days have been so incredibly hard. I wake in the mornings and reach out for Pascual only to touch the cold side of the bed. Full wakefulness just reminds me that it’s not all a horrible dream. I lay there dazed., numb.. completely empty of all emotion. Then the tears come... gentle and silent like a tranquil tide. Each wave is followed by another until I am crushed under the weight of emotions so deep and mournful, I will surely drown. </div>
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I need to get up. I have to shower. I should get dressed. But what is the point? I pull the covers over my head and burrow down deeper to the safety of my cocoon. I’m entitled. My husband just died. I am becoming a beautiful butterfly. I’m just in the liquified goo phase.</div>
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Calls to coroners, funeral homes, crematoriums and medical examiners all gratefully turned over to my cousin Karl to be handled by him. Overwhelm is the word of the day.</div>
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The baby is fussy. He has finally learned to fully walk and say Yayo (Pascual’s Grandpa name) 4 days too late. He keeps looking over our shoulder for Pascual. He is sensitive to the energy in the house. We’ve been going on lots of walks and giving him lots of extra attention. But our nerves are raw and his screaming is hard to take at times. We tag team him. It’s getting easier to manage. He is typically a happy baby and very easy to soothe. So we give extra cuddles. </div>
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More calls and cards and checks and flowers arrive daily. The generosity of people is incredible: I tried to tell Pascual that we had a large network of helpful and caring people. It bothers me that I have to prove him wrong now. If he had just let me reach out a few week ago, our world might be different today. </div>
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For whatever his reasons... he kept all these things inside. I knew he was sad. I knew he was hurting. But even his therapist didn’t know how bad he really was. I thought he would snap out of it. </div>
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The things I found in his phone search history haunt me. The exact details of his death as described in the emotionless detailed accounting by the coroner guts me to my core. In this moment I realize, with his OCD he had thoroughly researched every kind of suicide. Ruling out any type where I might be sued by another party. He chose one of the most difficult and slow painful ways to die... all so I would be safe. Doing it at a hotel so I wouldn’t be the one to discover his body. Going the extra mile of disengaging his I phone locator so we couldn’t find him and stop him before he succeeded. </div>
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The shopping list and receipt for the Home Depot in his briefcase for the tools he needed to do the job. The unused things in a bag on the floor of the car. Still sitting there in the car in front of my house, with the 2 large bags of cat food he told me he would buy next time he went by the feed store. </div>
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His lack of a note, the fact he chose a date 4 days before my birthday... both indicators that he was no longer in his right mind. The man who loved me would have thought of those little things. The overdue library books on depression hidden in a pile on his side of the bed. Cryptic posts on his Facebook page that I never saw because I was off Facebook for 6 weeks after my surgery. </div>
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Guilt eats at me. If I’d only checked his phone history. If I’d only read his Facebook posts. If I’d only not taken my pain pills or even had a surgery, I might have been aware.</div>
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None of these things bring me comfort. Nothing I could have said or done would have changed anything. He wanted to keep it secret. He wanted to Kill himself. He was ill, he was in pain and he needed emotional support and medication. This is the reality. Men often do not ask for help. There is a stigma surrounding male depression. A man isn’t a man if he can’t handle his feelings and business. </div>
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I am here to tell you that is crap. It takes great strength to ask for help. If my loss and my words can stop one person from taking their life, it’s worth the breath to say them. </div>
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If you are hurting, if you are feeling down, if you have thoughts of suicide, please call the National suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255 </div>
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Please don’t let your family be the next one like me, second guessing and wondering about every single thing you said or did that might have changed your mind.</div>
<br />Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-56316815209481679762020-04-29T22:16:00.000-07:002020-05-21T22:16:44.916-07:00Birthday thoughts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Birthdays have always been a big deal to me. My parents always made it special. My mom always made the best homemade cakes. Lovingly decorated as a turtle, or rocking horse or flowers. There were huge parties with lots of presents and ice cream and me surrounded by family and friends. </div>
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In my early adult life, I had partners that were good at making things special and others that struggled with my birthdays are special concept. I told my ex husbands that there were only a few days a year that I wanted, needed, required to be treated like a queen. Anniversary, Mother’s Day and my birthday. Not too much to ask for 3 days out of a year. I think a huge celebration on the day you arrived on the planet is the best way to honor the Life well lived. </div>
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One year I didn’t have a spouse on my birthday., we split up the month before. My sister in law Krissy threw me a party that year, bless her and her beautiful heart. </div>
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I met Pascual the winter before my 40th. He had just moved to Chicago a few days before my birthday so he couldn’t come to my big 40th bash. I was disappointed. Every year since then he worked so hard at making sure he created the perfect birthday for me. </div>
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It usually started out with his beautiful voice singing softly in my ear in English and Spanish. Then I would get up and there would be a lovely sappy sentimental card, and a joke card, flowers, candy, and a fun day planned. He usually worked from home and would prepare me a special breakfast and lunch and then take me out to dinner. Then on the weekend (if my birthday was a weekday) we would go wine tasting. The last several birthdays I have spent with Paskie, all the kids and Mom and Teen wine tasting. They were fun days filled with laughter, sappy cards and lots of wine. But they were all days I had planned. One time he said to me “You know... SOMEONE might want to plan a special surprise for someone’s birthday if she didn’t plan the whole thing for herself.” I laughed and said “ok I won’t plan it. I want the wine tasting with family on Saturdays but you can plan the Sundays festivities.” </div>
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One year it was a museum to see an antique jewelry exhibit. Another year it was a shopping spree at my favorite scrapbook store. There were weekend getaways, trips we took to celebrate both our birthdays. His in March, and mine in April. Every one planned with surprises and special touches, always with a lovely card filled with loving words, and wishes of spending our birthdays together for many years to come. </div>
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His birthday this past March I was only 2 weeks post op on my knee replacement. I didn’t have a card, and couldn’t go get one. I made his favorite dinner. It took me all day. Resting after each step of the food prep. High on pain pills I managed to pull it off and have it waiting on the table for him when he came in. China, candles, wildflowers from my backyard. He took one look and his face lit up. Thank you darling! He hadn’t been expecting anything because of my recent surgery and limited mobility. He was very appreciative of my efforts. “It means a lot, more than you know.” This was the last birthday I would have with him. I’m so glad I made the huge effort to complete the meal. He was a simple guy. Never expected a lot but always gave excessively. He was happy with whatever he got. I tried to make them all adventures and outings for him. Like his birdwatching birthday. That was super fun and he was so happy! We agreed for my birthday we would do the same, a quiet meal at home, and then take a trip to celebrate both when travel bans are lifted. We were going to Maui to hike in Hana to the waterfall with my new knee. </div>
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Today I woke up after a restful 7 hours of sleep. No birthday song sang softly in my ear with a Spanish accent. </div>
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A table covered not with birthday, but condolence bouquets. A box sits on the table filled with homemade cookies from my sweet friend Sue Brown. Condolence cards and birthday cards cover the fireplace mantle. It’s a wierd bittersweet birthday. Started with sad lonely tears as I woke missing him so much. Hugging his pillow and breathing in his scent. I thought it would comfort me but it just made me feel more lonely. I know in the fog of his pain he never thought about how close the day of his death was to my birthday or how deeply and negatively it would affect me. He just wanted the pain to stop. But regardless.... my birthdays will now and forever be shadowed by the anniversary of his death. Each birthday that ticks down to the time when we would have retired and started our globetrotting life will be a special kind of painful because he’s not here to celebrate them with me. They will get easier. The sharpness of the pain will dull. But the sparkle and shine of each one will be dulled by the ghosts of faded dreams with him that will never happen. </div>
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Today I am numb. I can’t feel anything. My eyes, which I thought were completely dried out of tears, are flowing again. My heart is filled with a mixture of the joys of well wishes from friends and an aching loneliness for the one who has been beside me and filled my soul for the past 15 years. They were quick years. A lot happened during them, but they blew by in a flash. I’m trying to stretch out the memory of them so I can walk through them slowly and savor each moment. In future I will have all these memories to hold on to. But today, in this moment, all I feel is an empty aching loneliness that doesn’t feel like it will ever end.</div>
<br />Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-90138207983544610702020-04-28T22:12:00.000-07:002020-05-21T22:13:09.419-07:00Finding the gifts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My mom always teaches in her learning to be psychic classes, that the best way to move past a painful incident in your life and get to forgiveness, you must look for the gifts. I have learned in the past 30 years that every painful thing has a gift in it. I’ve decided it’s time to look for the gifts I got in loving Paskie. The gifts we received in the loss of him will have to come later when I have more time and clarity. For now I will focus on the gift of him. <br />
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He was a gift of unconditional love to me in a time in my life where I had almost given up hope. He was the only man who ever looked deep enough to mine the diamonds in my soul. <br />
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He was a gift of humor from the very first day. Silly jokes, funny sayings, and laughter! So much laughter. We laughed through our entire wedding ceremony because of something he said innocently that turned into a huge joke. <br />
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He loved and accepted my children as his own. Gave all he had for our family so that we could live a beautiful life. He never considered them burdensome or baggage from my previous marriages. He just wanted to be part of a family and provided a stellar example to all of my kids on how a man can be kind, patient, strong, funny and responsible without showing a volitle temper. <br />
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His intellect was enviable. I always told him I married him for two things. His big heart and his big (wallet he would interrupt) brain. He was so smart. An IQ of 165, but he never made me feel inferior or stupid. He teased me about my math skills, or lack Therof. I never needed a calculator with him and his mental math skills around.<br />
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He could converse on so many subjects. It’s what made him so awesome at sales. He could sit at a dinner table with a prince and a pauper and they would all be laughing in 5 minutes. He had a knack of fitting in with all types of people. He was so well liked I used to say he was like Santa Claus. People loved to see him arrive and hated to see him go. He was the life of the party everywhere we went.<br />
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He was a polyglot. His language skills were so convenient, but they were also cool. I was always so impressed by the fact that he spoke so many. He was the perfect tour guide in Europe. My kids loved to hear him speak in different languages and were actually inspired to learn Spanish and French because of him. <br />
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He was fun! We went on so many adventures. Hikes, camping trips, beach days, Disneyland trips. When the kids moved out we started going on European adventures, but Hawaii was our favorite place. I’ll try not to let the loss of him ruin the islands for me. They will always remind me of my Big Kahuna! <br />
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We loved the same things... bargains, flea markets, garage sales, antique stores and thrift shops. Neither of us was very into sports. We both loved music and concerts, movies and opera, the symphony, wine tasting, museums, botanical gardens. Camping was a favorite too. We both loved the mountains and nature. He loved sculpting and I loved art. We had a dream to build a greenhouse/studio to house both our passions when we retired. <br />
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He was kind. He captured bugs and released them outside. He rescued everyone’s dying orchids. Animals and old people were drawn to him like the Pied Piper. He loved fish and animals and anything from the nature world. <br />
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He was an amazing cook. He was truly famous for his French bread. Any recipe he tried he usually cooked perfectly. Except the eggs he cooked for me the first time that burned. I tried so hard to eat them but they were horrible. Something we always laughed and joked about. <br />
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He was patient. He taught me to be much more patient. I was NEVER patient when I was younger. He just showed by example. Teaching with humor and kindness. Things didn’t rattle or phase him. <br />
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He was nurturing. He could grow anything with his green thumb. He loved flowers, like Ferdinand the bull, he could garden all day. He took tender care of all of us whenever we were sick or hurt. (Which happens to me a lot actually). He was cool under pressure, very skilled at nursing and had the most fantastic hands for massage. His healers hands would get so hot when he was doctoring you or giving you a massage. It always amazed me. Yet he was so intimated to hold our grandson for the first time. I encouraged him by reminding him it wasn’t much different from any animal baby he ever held. The look of complete and utter love on his face in that moment was priceless.<br />
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He was humble. Never overtly aggressive, my gentle giant. But inside, he was quietly competitive. He always strove to do his absolute best, working 8 to faint on his jobs. Putting in long hours, not because it was required, but because he had a high degree of integrity and he couldn’t give anything less than his all. He was never boastful or proud. Just did his best and moved on to the next task. <br />
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He was loved. So many people all over the world are heartsick with grief over his passing. The same words spoken over and over, He was one of the best human beings I ever knew. He was the nicest guy I ever met. He was a diamond. He was a once in a lifetime guy. <br />
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A long time ago before I met him I did an exercise in one of my moms classes where we made a chart of things we wanted and things we wanted gone from our life. I did the exercise and put the chart away in a drawer. Flash forward a couple of years. I’m married to a Pascual now. I find the chart. On it, all the things I said I wanted were things that were pipe dreams for me when I made the chart. None of them were in my life at that time. And the things I didn’t want were the things my life had been full of when I made the chart. I looked and was shocked to see that I now had everything on that chart that I had dreamed of, plus many more I’d never even considered. All of these things were in my life now because of Pascual. He made all my dreams come true and I never even knew it until I found that chart. That’s how much my life changed for the better because of him. <br />
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What a life we lived darling! How blessed We all were to have lived for a short time wrapped in the warmth of your embrace. We are better people for having known you.Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-5258094439435455812020-04-26T22:08:00.000-07:002020-05-21T22:10:04.454-07:00Random 3 am thoughts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I will forever miss your smile, your big laugh. The twinkle in your eye when you danced with your bouncy step I could never follow. I wonder who will rub my legs or shoulders now when I have anxiety attacks and restless legs, or hold me in the night when I’m cold because their body heat is like a furnace.<br />
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How will I go on when I know that you aren’t just at work or on a business trip and won’t be walking through the door shouting “Hi Darling” ever again. <br />
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Little things like taking out the trash cans and recycling, nagging me about what is and what is not compostable. Who will I argue with about not hoarding food as I try to Tetris one more thing into the freezer.<br />
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Who gets the 98 T-shirts you wouldn’t donate, and what about all of your Aloha shirts? Not to mention the piles and piles of papers in the office that you refused to throw away. <br />
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Who will drive me home at night because I can’t see in the dark? Or guide me through foreign airports without a hitch.<br />
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What will I do at the end of my day when I want to talk it over and only an empty placemat stares back.<br />
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How will my crazy technology glitches get fixed now? Where will I find a perfect plus 1 for all events who fits so seamlessly into any group with a beautiful friendly smile, corny joke, and cheesy 80’s dance steps?<br />
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Who is going to say loving things to me in 6 different languages, real phrases not just food words. Who will sing the many versus of the Hola Tobias song when only you knew the words. <br />
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Never again will I see your huge grin and dancing eyes when they spy a Spanish ham, chorizo or horchata made from chufas? Or hear you tease me about Chistorra. What about Your Kings Cakes and pan de Pascual? Will I always see you playing air guitar when I hear the Gypsy Kings? <br />
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How will I complete the Nativity set in true Spanish style? I don’t know what animals and figures we still need.<br />
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Your friends and family mourn your loss greatly. Many sad, tearful, sleepless nights are spent wondering why. <br />
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My future has been erased. Our carefully made plans completely blown apart. You were my compass. You were my true north. I have no sense of direction now. <br />
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Where will I ever find the love to fill the hole that’s been blown through the middle of me at your passing. Where do I find another soul mate, a perfect match, my half Orange when I’ve already had the best God could send me? How will I ever find another person to measure up to the incredibly high bar you set. <br />
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All of this is but a small amount of the things that made you my husband. We were soul mates, partners, adventure buddies, best friends.... I’m half of the whole now. I have to learn to be a half again. Until I do, I will get up every day, put one foot in front of the other, breathe in and out and try not to remember that for 15 years, I had it perfect.Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-7707466620359085892020-04-24T22:34:00.000-07:002020-05-21T22:34:57.997-07:00He’s gone... my heartbreak. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to write. Thursday afternoon Pascual lost his job. He drove from the office to a hotel where he took his life. He had been worried about losing his job for months and was consumed with grief and worry over the Corona Virus. He had been very depressed, and in hindsight I see little signs now that I hadn’t seen before. There is no way to express the sadness we all feel at his loss. The world lost a wonderful human being. I lost my soul mate, my kids lost a Dad, his parents lost their only son, and his sister her big brother, and little Toby his Yayo. What will we do without our Paskie. How will we go on? Who will I share my adventures with now? How will I survive without his smiles and jokes and the tender way he loved me? I will never be the same. There is a huge hole where my heart used to be. Now I am surrounded by my family. There will be some dark days ahead. I look forward to the day when we can recall the good times and laugh. Right now, all I can do is cry and wonder why such a wonderful man could think that death was preferable to the beautiful life he had. I am numb, and hollow.,,we are all completely stunned. Please pray for us.</div>
<br />Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-54718434706660587772016-09-26T12:13:00.001-07:002016-09-26T12:13:45.619-07:0010 ways to get MORE out of your leisure timeAs empty nesters, my husband and I are learning to negotiate a kid free
life. For 28 years we have had kids at home. It is a bit of an
adjustment downsizing to a pair from a family group. Everything costs
less, it is less stressful, and with the two of us we can be ready to go
in a few minutes. This is our time to go out and really enjoy life. Now what do we do? Where do we go? We are looking for ways to create
more fun and friends in our daily life without spending a ton of money.
We are into accumulating experiences, not things. By lightening our
load, we are freeing up our time to travel more and enjoy many
experiences between the "big money vacations". We have found many low
cost ways to increase the experiences we have while staying on a
budget. We'd like to share our favorites with you. here.<br />
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<b>1. look on line for local events. </b> We live in the city of Napa. There is always something going on here. Free concerts in the summer at the riverfront, Wine tastings and release parties at wineries, Earth Day celebration, <a href="https://www.eventbrite.com/l/event-management-software/" target="_blank">Check on line with Eventbrite for local events.</a> They list things all over the place. Just type what kind of event you want and they will show you a list of things going on in your area. Your local paper or chamber of commerce are some other great resources. Check out Groupon for discounted dining and entertainment tickets to places you plan on visiting before you arrive. Craigslist and Nextdoor are also great resources for purchasing event tickets from private parties that are looking to sell extras. On a recent trip to Reno for a family birthday party we discovered we were there the same time as the Great Reno Hot Air Balloon Race, Taking advantage of the opportunity, we woke up at 3:30 am to get to the field for the glow show and race at dawn. It was totally free, and we had an amazing time with our family!<br />
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<b>2. Go camping. </b>My childhood vacations were camping trips. Granted, camping is not for everyone... Like when I was a kid and it snowed when we were in tents. My dad took hot rocks from the fire and rolled them in towels and put them in the sleeping bags to keep us warm so we wouldn't have to go home. We thought it was an awesome wilderness adventure and it's one of my greatest childhood memories. If you are willing to give it a try, it can be an incredible experience. We love to take off on a Friday and tent camp somewhere within a 2 hour drive of home. We find it relaxing. My Spanish Boy scout loves it. We totally unplug from everything. No phones, no electricity. We eat gourmet meals, drink lots of wine and stay up late talking and visiting and listening to music. Bluetooth music is the only technology we use. We purposely unplug to decompress from our busy lives. We took 12 teenagers camping at the river, five of them were exchange students from Spain and France, everyone agreed that camping was the highlight of the trip for all of them.<br />
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<b>3. Have a picnic. </b>I love a good picnic! I used to pack a lunch for my kids and take them to the park. I would sit on a blanket with the baby and the kids would play for hours and come eat little snacks as they wanted. Adult picnics are awesome too. Here in the valley we have tons of places to go that have picnic grounds. If it's a winery, they require you to buy their wines. There are parks and campgrounds and meadows everywhere. Pack up some delicious food, drinks, your tunes, a Frisbee or a good book and take off for the day. It's a great way to see new places and have a relaxing afternoon.<br />
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<b>4. Have a fine dining experience at home with friends. </b>Save the $$$ of an expensive restaurant. My husband and I both love to cook. We are constantly trying out new recipes. We have one group of foodie friends that we meet with to visit and it always turns into a gastronomic extravaganza. We just call them cooking parties. We are usually able to feed a group of 12 adults for $300 which includes wines, champagne, appetizers, 4-5 course meal and dessert. The hosting couple provides the entree, another brings appetizers, one brings desserts, and the others bring sides. Everyone brings a couple of bottles of wine. We choose a theme for the meal, ie: Italian, Mediterranean, Chinese... and the menu is left up to each couple to decide based on what everyone else signs up for. Another option is to do all of the cooking yourself and invite a few friends. Get out the good china and crystal, decorate in a theme, find reasons to use all of those nice things you have stored away. Don't have any good things for entertaining? Check out your local Goodwill or other thrift store and see if they have things in your theme for cheap. Either way, you are guaranteed a great night with lots of laughs and excellent food for much less than you would pay at a restaurant. This is our favorite way to spend time with friends.<br />
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Making homemade sausage with friends</div>
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Paella cooking party with friends</div>
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<b>5. Take a cooking class. </b> Many places offer them. Sur La Table and Williams Sonoma are two chains that offer them regularly for a minimal fee. local restaurants also offer cooking classes from time to time. Here in the valley, you can take a weekend course at the Culinary Academy. Check your local area, like the leisure services or adult education department. We took an awesome French Baking course for 6 weeks at a local boulangerie and learned to make baguettes, croissants, brioche and other yummy French baked items. <br />
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<b>6. Host a holiday party.</b> We love parties! 4th of July, El Pilar (the patron saint of my hubby's home town) Christmas dinner with girlfriends. Whatever the occasion, we love hosting and attending a good party. We have some really great friends and we enjoy getting together regularly. Everyone has busy lives, but it is so great to get together and just have a celebration. <br />
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<b>7. Visit a public garden. </b>Every area has a public garden, botannical garden or even a Farmer's Market. Go check one out. Not only will you learn about local flora and fauna, you will also enjoy a great day out in nature. <br />
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<b>8. Play tourist in your own town. </b> How many of you live in a great touristic area, and yet you have never been to many of your town's tourist attractions.<b> </b>We love to play tourist and go see all of the great places in our area that people come from all over the world to see. There has to be something interesting in your area that you have not seen yet. Make it a point to go check it out. <b><br /></b><br />
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<b>9. Take off on a one day roadtrip. </b>Wherever you are, look around on line for interesting places to visit on a day trip. Just get in the car and go. Eat at a restaurant on the trip, check out new places you've never seen before in your own back yard. We drove to Mt. Tamalpais in Marin county and stopped to eat once at a restaurant at the top. It had 360 degree views of the San Francisco Bay. It was a lovely day so we dined on the terrace to enjoy the view. We found a petrefied forest in the upper end of the Napa Valley. Another day we took a drive past the petrefied forest and all the way to Santa Rosa and the Sonoma Valley and on to the Russian River Valley. Awesome wineries like Coppola, where you can see the Coppola movie museum, complete with the bride of Frankenstein costumes and Godfather memorabilia and all of his Oscar statues. Go to Johnson's Beach in Russian River for a beer and burger and a quick swim. While in Florida recently my girlfriend and I took a roadtrip from
Sarasota to Sanibel Island, We had a great day in Sanibel at the beach
and shopping at all the cool shell shops in town. Get out and explore
no matter where you are. Gas prices are down and a roadtrip is a
pretty cheap way to spend a Saturday or Sunday Get out and explore. Gas prices are down and a roadtrip is a pretty cheap way to spend a Saturday or Sunday.<br />
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<b>10. Join a sport league. </b>We play Bocce Ball. It is quite popular in our area. It's a great way to meet other people and socialize. We take turns bringing dinner, and we get out once a week for fun and a few games. Find a sport league in your area that interests you and join up!<br />
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With a little creativity, you can get into going out and doing more. Give it a try... Before you know it, you will be so busy your kids will need to book appointments to visit with you. We LOVE being empty nesters!</div>
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Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-5888323484138485712016-09-19T08:25:00.003-07:002016-09-19T08:25:59.053-07:00Caprese Chicken Pizza with Cauliflower doughSounds crazy right? Well I am here to tell you different... If I told you that there is a way to make pizza with a great taste and reduce the calories of the dough by half, would that interest you?<br />
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We are always looking for low carb options on the recipe sites. We already make mashed cauliflower to substitute potatoes. My Spaniard found a recipe for a cauliflower pizza dough and tweaked it with his special style. The first time we made it, was with coconut flour. It didn't hold together as well. because you need some gluten to bind it better. But it tasted great, for those who do need a gluten free option. The second time we used regular white all purpose flour from Costco. Here is the dough recipe:<br />
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1 egg<br />
3 cups of steamed cauliflower drained and mashed and all water squeezed out in cheesecloth<br />
1 cup flour<br />
2 oz shredded white cheddar grated (optional)<br />
1 tablespoon pepper (you can us less if you prefer)<br />
3 tablespoons plain yogurt<br />
2 cloves roasted garlic<br />
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toppings:<br />
<br />
1/2 cup store bought pizza sauce<br />
4 strips bacon cooked and crumbled<br />
1/3 cup diced tomatoes<br />
1/4 cup green or white sweet onions diced fine<br />
1/2 cup cooked chicken breast diced into small pieces<br />
1 cup shredded mozzarella<br />
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Mash cauliflower with garlic with a potato masher or fork, (or pulse in a food processor if you have one) Add egg to mixture and mix well. add 1/2 of the flour. mix until fully incorporated. Add rest of flour, pepper, cheese and yogurt. Mix thoroughly.<br />
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heat oven to 450 degrees.<br />
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Spread mixture onto parchment paper lined cookie sheet or baking stone about 1/3 inch thick. Dough will be wet and sticky, not like traditional pizza dough at all. Bake for 15 minutes until top feels dry and bottom side is golden brown.<br />
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Remove from oven, flip dough over and bake another 15 minutes until bottom side is golden brown as well. This will create a nice dry crust that you can top with anything.<br />
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Remove from oven, top with cheese, chicken, bacon and onion, Return to oven for 10 minutes or until cheese is melted. remove from oven and add diced tomatoes and basil.<br />
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Dough is soft but holds together well. Does not have the same texture as regular pizza dough, We recommend eating it with a fork and knife. By pre baking it for 15 minutes per side you get a better, more sturdy crust. When you bake for the 10 minutes with toppings the edges get crispy.<br />
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This pizza is healthy low carb option for those on a diabetic or low carb diet. We found the taste to be rich and more complex that typical pizza dough. It was very filling after only 2 pieces. There was enough dough to make 2 large cookie sheet rectangular pizzas which we cut into 4 pieces each.<br />
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Tip: You can steam cauliflower in advance, puree or mash and let it drain overnight in a fine mesh strainer. Roast garlic in advance and keep covered in a plastic container in the refrigerator. If you want an even lower calorie dough omit the 2 oz shredded white cheddar cheese. <br />
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Nutritional information for dough only:<br />
serving one slice (or 1/4 cookie sheet)<br />
calories 110<br />
protein 5 grams<br />
carbs 12 grams<br />
fiber 2 grams<br />
fat 4 grams<br />
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Nutritional information of cauliflower dough without cheese in the dough<br />
serving one slice<br />
calories 82<br />
protein 3.5 grams<br />
carbs 12 grams<br />
fiber 2 grams<br />
fat 1 grams<br />
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Compare to traditional pizza dough:<br />
serving size 1 slice<br />
calories 245<br />
protein 10 grams<br />
fat 5 grams<br />
carbs 45 grams<br />
fiber .5 grams<br />
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<br />Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-72908820345655227152016-03-16T05:00:00.000-07:002016-03-16T05:00:15.904-07:00Happy Birthday to my hubby<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This man is amazing. He takes care of me, He loves me unconditionally, even when I'm not very lovable. He married a woman with four children between the ages of 6 and 16, and took on the role of stepdad amazingly well. I knew he was a keeper when he told me, "I can love your kids if they'll let me, and we can adopt more if we decide we want more. I just want to be part of a family." <br />
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I read a quote once that said "It takes a strong man to step up the the dinner table and finish the plate another man left behind." That is my Paskie. My rock, my best friend and partner in crazy adventures. We have had a lot more down times than up.... and we are still here standing, loving each other even more than we did when we met... Life gets better with every passing day, and we are seeing things improve to the point where we are starting to enjoy life again and not just exist. I hope we both live to be 100, healthy, with all our marbles, So we can continue on this beautiful adventure of life. Here's to another 49 beautiful years!<br />
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I am so thankful for all of the detours I took to get to the place I was at the exact moment when the timing was right for me to meet this man. I wouldn't be who I am without the crazy roads I took along the way. Like our favorite song by Rascal Flatts says:<br />
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Every long lost dream, led me to where you are<br />
others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars<br />
pointing me on my way, into your loving arms<br />
this much I know is true<br />
that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.<br />
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Happy birthday to my wonderful man! I love you babe. <br />
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<br />Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-29789560465714276312016-03-10T15:55:00.000-08:002016-03-10T15:55:06.884-08:00Napa Palisades Saloon<div>
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We stopped in here for a drink and appetizer. It's a casual place that serves pub food. I had the mac and cheese with bacon, the hubby had hot wings. The wings were crispy outside but tender and juicy, not dried out and over cooked. They had just the right amount of spice and the blue cheese dip was really nice. The Mac and cheese was a gooey, cheezy, baconey, delight. I haven't really eaten it since I was a kid, and it was so good I've been craving it ever since. It's located next to the ice cream shop on the corner of second and main streets in downtown Napa.<br />
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Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-73030622446383061002016-03-07T09:45:00.000-08:002016-03-07T14:02:01.039-08:00Secreto Iberico<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Photo credit <a href="http://elranchosabadell.com/food/item/secreto-iberico/" target="_blank">here</a></div>
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I was checking out a new blog the other day <a href="http://chicaandaluza.com/" target="_blank">Chica Andaluza</a> She is an Englishwoman who resides in Southern England and Andalucia in Southern Spain. Her blog is full of lovely posts with recipes and daily life in Spain and England. It's very inspiring and funny. Please check her out. While browsing through her recipes, I came across a post called <a href="http://chicaandaluza.com/?s=secreto+iberico&submit=Search" target="_blank">Secreto Iberico</a> (Iberian Secret) and was intrigued. I instantly asked my resident Spaniard "Hey honey, what is this secret, and how come we never had it when we were in Spain?" This is when I got a lesson in meat butchery in different parts of the world. Since he is so familiar with animal anatomy, and having done business with several different countries in the food and feed industry, my Spaniard knows a lot. So here is the lowdown...<br />
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It is a cut of meat that does not exist here in the States because of the way the animal is broke down at the slaughterhouse. Most butcher shops get their meat already broken down into large pieces that they butcher up into chops and steaks etc. It is difficult to find a butcher shop that breaks down the whole animal. Well, optomistic little Pollyanna that I am, I was CONVINCED we could find it here in Napa Valley if we found it anywhere. There are so many fine restaurants and I figured someone would know about it around here... ummm... NOPE. Armed with a diagram and my husbands useful Spanish language skills, we beat the streets, trying every butcher shop in town to find someone who knew about Spanish butchery. No luck... The best we were able to ascertain in our search was that it is a flap of meat in what would be the brisket area of a cow. It's at the front end of the ribs, boneless and tastes like rib meat, marbled with fat and traditionally grilled with salt and pepper and a little lemon. <br />
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Photo credit <a href="http://www.elcerdoiberico.es/?p=160" target="_blank">here</a></div>
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I was disappointed that we couldn't find this mystery meat. As we were looking at all of the wild game meats, my Spaniard spied a stack of meat labeled meat for sweet and sour BBQ. No cut specified. "This is it!" he says, presenting it to me with a flourish. It was boneless spare rib meat basically. We should have taken it to the butcher counter and asked him what that cut of meat was for future reference. But we were so happy to find it and so hungry at this point we ran home right away and threw it on the grill! It was delish. We paired it with some colored carrots, asparagus spears and squash grilled in oilve oil and garlic. Together with some bread, Spanish cheese Idiazabel (my personal favorite) and some membrillo, we had a lovely Spanish lunch at Casa Machinga.<br />
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So try this cut of meat. Check out Chica Andulaza's blog in the comments section of her Secreto Iberico post. There are some links to diagrams of pigs and how they are butchered in Spain. That helped, showing the photo. I guess you can just ask for the boneless spare rib meat, but it may not be the same stuff. Please post a comment here if you know where it can be found locally and if you know what the cut is actually called in the States.<br />
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All photos were found via google search.<br />
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<br />Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-5997964441892203472016-03-03T09:25:00.000-08:002016-03-03T09:27:03.536-08:00Oxbow Market<div>
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Downtown Napa has a really cool place called the Oxbow market. It is an indoor market that has produce, meats, a bakery. Oyster bar. Cupcake shop, groceries and other specialty restaurants. We went Friday night for dinner but all of the market stalls were closed. We ate at this restaurant. We shared a mixed green salad with balsamic vinigarette and an artichoke pizza. I had a glass of Chardonnay and the hubs had water. Total bill was $42 with tip. Kinda pricey since everything is al la carte. The food was very good, but not anything we couldn't make at home. We make an excellent <span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Italian style thin crust pizza for pennies that is better than anything we've been able to find in a restaurant. You can get the recipe <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5994847985174863605#editor/target=post;postID=1935233556258854714;onPublishedMenu=posts;onClosedMenu=posts;postNum=19;src=postname" target="_blank">here</a>. In spite of the fact that we had to sit in the walkway, it was a pretty private dining experience, and a nice date night. During the day when things are bustling, it would probably feel crowded. They do have outdoor patio seating with heaters. It was closed for a private event Friday night, but is usually open on weekends. </span><br />
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We spent Sunday afternoon leisurely strolling through the stalls. I bought some spices from the herb seller. We tried locally produced olive oils, vinegar, bath products and salami. You can get pizza, craft beers or a glass of wine. The cheese shop has an extensive selection of imported cheeses and we were perusing the Spanish options. Much more than just Manchego, for sure! They have tables inside and out. It's pretty crowded on the weekends, but totally worth it. </div>
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We walked down to the river walk. They have completely redone this area since the last big flood. It's a lovely place to walk on a sunny day. We really enjoyed our Lazy Sunday exploration. We walked from Oxbow down First street to Main Street to the visitors center by Morimoto Restaurant (yeah the Iron Chef guy) and back. It took us a couple of hours because we stopped and took photos and poked around in shops. It's really only about a mile round trip, if that. </div>
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A haunting memorial sculpture in veterans park with names of local soldiers killed in action. </div>
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So next time you are in the Valley, check out downtown Napa! It has a lot to offer. </div>
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Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-78627163821755597462016-02-29T12:28:00.000-08:002016-03-02T09:13:35.750-08:00Iratxe Arrives today!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This girl, or our That Girl ( she reminds me of That Girl) from the Basque country arrives today. Her name is pronounced EE-ra-tsay. She is our daughter across the water. We spent 2 summers with her and we love her like she is one of our own kids. Visiting on a 4 week trip in San Francisco for school, she doesn't want to spend her weekend doing touristic things in the city. Since she has already done that on her previous trips... She prefers to spend them with us! So we will figure out some fun things to do on the weekends while she is here. </div>
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When we were in Spain for Christmas of 2014, she and her family took us all over their area, wined and dined us in true Basque style... For those not familiar with Spanish culture, the Basque are KNOWN for their cooking. There are cooking societies called Sociodad gastronomica (hope my spelling is correct) , It is usually men, but some allow women. They go to cook and eat and socialize, think Loyal order of the Water Buffalo with guys cooking Flintstone sized cuts of meat. Her dad pays a fee of I think he said $30 euros a year which includes unlimited use of the space for any party or event he wants to have. They (the society) come and clean it up afterward... It has dining for over 100 people, a huge commercial kitchen with a pit to cook goat, pig or cow outside and a fully stocked bar for cocktails. You bring your own wine. OMG the food her father cooked for us was amazing! </div>
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Sadly, her mother passed away when she was eight. We went to the village where her mother grew up, and where her parents were married. A cute little Gothic village on the sea called Leucatia. They have the family home here still but they only open it in the summer. </div>
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all of us with her father, brothers and dads girlfriend</div>
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the lovely Gothic cathedral where her parents were married</div>
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the square by the harbor</div>
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a fishmonger selling fresh caught fish out of a little cart next to the water. </div>
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a little island across the harbor that can be reached by foot on a sandbar at low tide</div>
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Iratxe, Yousef and Xabi</div>
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Iratxe and her dad</div>
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Mini Kings cakes... MAN I love these things!!!</div>
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Alberto cooking us a HUGE steak that is like a Porterhouse cut here in the States.</div>
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We really enjoyed our 2 days in the Basque country, and hope to spend more time there when we go again. We really want to enjoy the few days we get with her doing something fun. We are trying to think of something she would like that she hs not seen here in Nor Cal yet... We know a trip to the outlets is a must, this girl is a shopper! Gotta get our thinking caps on!</div>
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<br />Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-58680842625536454852016-02-26T11:50:00.000-08:002016-02-26T11:50:02.422-08:00Daroush & Paraduxx<div>
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Their labels are all gorgeous and many different styles.</div>
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water features, high ceilings and a server per party. They take time to explain, not just pour and glug. </div>
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This winery is unique. It's Persian, named after Darius l who was a king of Persia. Daroush is how you say Darius in Persian. The grounds of the winery are lovely. The tasting room is by appointment, and a more intimate experience from what we saw. Lots of chairs and couches for tastings. We did not taste here, as it was Valentine's day and they were booked. We will be back to check out the wines here soon. </div>
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Paraduxx (pronounced pair a ducks) was another lovely surprise. Owned by Duckhorn. Reservations are required, but they do have tables in the main area for walk in customers. We will definitely be back to lounge on the terrace in the sun and enjoy their wines. A tasting comes with all the wines poured on a tray. A server sits with you and explains them all, then leaves you to enjoy them at your leisure. They also bring you cheese and little toasts. The cheese they served was called Happy Cow creamy Swiss and it really paired nicely with the wine. We've been looking for it but have not had any luck finding it yet. <br />
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Parduxx indoor tasting area and main entry where they seat walk in's. So check if they say by appointment, many times they can accommodate you. We just went to look and they asked if we wanted to taste. We told hem we didn't have reservations and they said the tables here were for walk in customers... So of course we tasted!</div>
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our tastings poured and ready to enjoy. BTW we liked the 1st, 2nd and last ones best... but they were all good. Hubs was just sipping each one once, so I got the rest, and quite tipsy as a result. </div>
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Paraduxx terrace tasting area by appointment, lovely views of the vineyards and huge oak trees, you can see their picnic tables in the background. Ok to picnic as long as you drink their wines. <br />
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So check out these wineries next time you are in the valley... We had a nice experience at both! <br />
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Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-46046033797479254702016-02-23T21:06:00.002-08:002016-02-23T21:06:55.303-08:00Howdy, Happy New Year, Happy Valentines day and happy almost SpringI was reading over my posts in December, and like a lot of my plans and intentions, I bit off more than I could chew. Planning Christmas, packing, moving and doing all of the footwork as a general contractor for our new home remodel really had me tied up. I did cook a few more meals after the ones posted, and we had a great Christmas brunch... but my family revolted big time! I had to break down and buy food, even though there was PLENTY to eat in the house. So my experiment was an epic fail... However the Spaniard and I are working away at the food stores. We have a teeny tiny refrigerator and freezer on loan from our daughters boyfriend that is a little larger than a bar fridge, which holds much less than an average fridge. It is crammed to bursting with a lot of things left over from the other house... It never seems to go down. Don't tell the Spaniard, but I may throw away some items while he is on a business trip just to have a little more room in the fridge. and we REALLY won't tell him about all that I threw away in the trash at the old house that never even made the trip...<br />
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Here is a look at the front of our new house... Smurf Blue. All original 1943 amenities... and we LOVE it. We had an interesting discussion on perspective the other day when my Spaniard was Skypeing with his family in Spain... He was showing them the house, and they were commenting on how big it was. Compared to their apartments, it is quite big. But by American standards, its a really small house at just over 800 sq ft, We are finding it is big enough for our needs actually the way it is... and have debated over whether or not to do the remodel... But we have decided to go ahead and do it. The electrical keeps blowing fuses, we only have 80 amps in the whole house... the plumbing is shot, the pipes corroded and the water tastes funny so we are drinking bottled water. We are looking at camping out in the garage this spring as an adventure. We will see how that actually goes.<br />
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My plan is to document the process here... the good, the bad and the ugly of remodeling while living in the home.. Thank GOD we live in wine country. And a double thank God to the fact that the Napa Valley has a Napa Neighbors program that gives Valley residents free wine tastings at over 200 wineries up and down the valley! So guess what we do every weekend we are home? Yep, wine tasting, and other touristic things in our new town. I do rate all the places we go on <a href="http://www.tripadvisor.com/members/karansimoni" target="_blank">Trip Advisor</a>, you can check me out there for more detailed reviews of the places we visit. <br />
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My goal this year, I say goal cause I don't know that I will actually attain it, is to post at least twice a week with various upcycling, lifestyle, travel and home improvement tips... Lets see if I can actually do it.<br />
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In the meantime... here are some photos from the last couple of lovely sunny weekends we have had here in the valley...<br />
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Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-66027275787130604132015-12-23T23:19:00.000-08:002016-02-24T11:32:29.983-08:00Day 19<div>
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Fusilli pasta with chicken in a spinach Gorgonzola sauce.<br />
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Last night was our annual girls Christmas party. We have been doing this party since the 1980's. It is something we look forward to every year. I really love seeing all my girlfriends from school and catching up on our lives for a few hours. </div>
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This recipe is one I adapted after eating a similar dish at Pasta Primavera in Walnut Creek. It's<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> Yolanda's favorite dish and she likes me to fix it for Christmas. It's </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">typically made with bow tie pasta, but fusilli was what I had on hand. </span></div>
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2 cups chicken breast meat cubed and cooked</div>
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1 cup diced tomatoes </div>
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2 cups chopped fresh spinach </div>
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1 garlic clove pressed</div>
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1 package bow tie pasta cooked and drained </div>
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1/2 pint heavy whipping cream</div>
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1/2 pint half and half</div>
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1/2 stick of butter</div>
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1/8 cup flour dissolved in 1/2 cup water to avoid lumps</div>
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Boil water for pasta</div>
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Prep chicken and veggies and set aside </div>
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When pasta is half way cooked, melt butter, add garlic and the contents of half and half and heavy cream together. Add in Gorgonzola or Bleu cheese until melted. Add in flour slurry. if its too thick add water or milk to thin. I ended up using a pint of liquid total, I saved bout 1/2 cup of the half and half to dilute the thickened mixture. It should be the consistency of alfraedo sauce. Combine spinach, tomato and chicken into sauce, pour sauce over pasta and stir to coat. Garnish with parmasean and serve. </div>
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Merry Christmas everyone! </div>
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Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-6713488362456970942015-12-20T15:22:00.001-08:002015-12-20T15:22:06.149-08:00Day 18Ham and eggs for dinner and quiche for lunch. <div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0n7P2zfWQZ3XpuHHaMUqt_Nov6ECgsx6Nwm1_eLHCKwtIFFAnDIkKaEejbAWwG-6oFweQKcwp4kjm7CzTQuM3-kMYYZuG6c5-lDq8Y6tFQAKFxmBcitgrkV-Df7wvzIQqjE1tUsdOobqx/s640/blogger-image-854325610.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0n7P2zfWQZ3XpuHHaMUqt_Nov6ECgsx6Nwm1_eLHCKwtIFFAnDIkKaEejbAWwG-6oFweQKcwp4kjm7CzTQuM3-kMYYZuG6c5-lDq8Y6tFQAKFxmBcitgrkV-Df7wvzIQqjE1tUsdOobqx/s640/blogger-image-854325610.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>Use the basic quiche recipe I posted previously here http://allrecipes.com/recipe/21551/quick-quiche/?internalSource=recipe%20hub&referringId=150&referringContentType=recipe%20hub</div><div><br></div><div>I added a cup of sliced mushrooms sautéed in butter and a cup of sliced spinich. It turned out great. You will need to cook it 10 minutes longer than the recipe says due to the water content in the mushrooms and spinich. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicChQ8ikwoJDXv2QzuxAGUf4VkUuS8plWkG5G3XV71j_Rrm2w7rWe6nT88Gd6GnVKUeqIuhpGTG4qTsfLu54opUl1KqQTZp0Q4IAH9cdNr206YBOvbG0j_DcJSD9WnhCH2IeB9FabXiy9-/s640/blogger-image--695036690.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicChQ8ikwoJDXv2QzuxAGUf4VkUuS8plWkG5G3XV71j_Rrm2w7rWe6nT88Gd6GnVKUeqIuhpGTG4qTsfLu54opUl1KqQTZp0Q4IAH9cdNr206YBOvbG0j_DcJSD9WnhCH2IeB9FabXiy9-/s640/blogger-image--695036690.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-53619770575455136832015-12-20T15:16:00.001-08:002015-12-20T15:16:30.333-08:00Day 16<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipSHx00et3OW_U-qZ-h8Vp5A0pgU3HO4llcl08Gb4utUyRZdTaszAUuSJjDGoKsnI6q15qMDvqQQYl8Gos8ZecdZSWaR943d1vPbIgh1S4u-Iu-BVZ5HXljiV5PjJgxaDuIzmBnbyT1Khg/s640/blogger-image-2007791280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipSHx00et3OW_U-qZ-h8Vp5A0pgU3HO4llcl08Gb4utUyRZdTaszAUuSJjDGoKsnI6q15qMDvqQQYl8Gos8ZecdZSWaR943d1vPbIgh1S4u-Iu-BVZ5HXljiV5PjJgxaDuIzmBnbyT1Khg/s640/blogger-image-2007791280.jpg"></a></div><br></div>We have eaten out a couple of times, we are still eating up the packaged and canned food items. Hubby has eaten salads every day with tuna, sardines, mackerel and other canned fish. We've exhausted the canned and frozen soups, we've eaten all of the bread, veggies and most of the cheese. I had to break down and go shopping. I had to buy a ham on sale because my carnivorous family were going to riot if they didn't get some meat. <div><br></div><div>The first night we were too tired after shopping to wait for the whole ham to cook so I just pan fried some slices like my mom used to do, baked a few potatoes and cooked up some broccoli slaw with a half bag of leftover kale salad mix. The veggies turned out really good. Here is the recipe:</div><div><br></div><div>2 tbsp butter</div><div>1 tbsp olive oil</div><div>1 bag broccoli slaw</div><div>1/2 bag kale salad mix</div><div>1 tsp tarragon</div><div>1/2 tsp Montreal steak seasoning</div><div>1/2 tsp garlic powder</div><div>1 tsp onion flakes</div><div><br></div><div>Stir fry veggies in oil and butter until warmed through and kale starts to wilt. Add spices, toss and stir fry 1 minute more. This is really easy and always gets rave reviews when I make it. I am using more of my powdered spices if I can to save my fresh garlic and onion for other dishes that really require fresh produce. </div><div><br></div>Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-84297895677676615022015-12-20T15:01:00.001-08:002015-12-20T15:01:10.713-08:00Day 12<div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3FPuXYAb7HzVhKjrpe8BNElE04FXKLzU58Llyvkgjxn0mN9B8Y9mp0UmAu7Xmvph33F-xwh8iE8zDqYq8MR0QQL-yzTjEkb0_DKR8VWMBI4pjeNOF5XaX7SPtsY13x1dm3cFeYEZZUXbF/s640/blogger-image-2095849685.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3FPuXYAb7HzVhKjrpe8BNElE04FXKLzU58Llyvkgjxn0mN9B8Y9mp0UmAu7Xmvph33F-xwh8iE8zDqYq8MR0QQL-yzTjEkb0_DKR8VWMBI4pjeNOF5XaX7SPtsY13x1dm3cFeYEZZUXbF/s640/blogger-image-2095849685.jpg"></div><br></span></div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">No cooking for a few days. We just ate leftovers and tried to empty out the fridge. Nothing really special worth writing about. </span><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We had some frozen pork roasts and decided to cook them in the sous vide and make carnitas. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid0zBd9y6V76lYVszTQAOS_649iTuOzzm6_5WKLSv-FEaYs6i74X-oDEOgB2xNzWkrvsy9InMZYWnakIpXnfnmPz58AoWb2M5UpCJzJsIOgDjtKZ-J-TueoFcW010T7IcsTHvYekJpjmyg/s640/blogger-image--702904775.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid0zBd9y6V76lYVszTQAOS_649iTuOzzm6_5WKLSv-FEaYs6i74X-oDEOgB2xNzWkrvsy9InMZYWnakIpXnfnmPz58AoWb2M5UpCJzJsIOgDjtKZ-J-TueoFcW010T7IcsTHvYekJpjmyg/s640/blogger-image--702904775.jpg"></a></div><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If you don't have a sous vide, you can slow cook it on the oven or a crock pot. It is super delicious and your family will love it. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">After slow cooking the pork, make the sauce:</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">1 large can mild enchilada sauce mix </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">1/2 tsp cumin</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">1 tsp oregano </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">1 tsp granulated garlic</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Dash of cayenne powder</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">1 small onion diced fine</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">1 tbsp olive oil</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Sauté onions in oil in a pot until translucent. Add rest of ingredients. Break pork roast apart into pieces of desired size. We like it about an inch or so for easy taco filling. Add pork to pot and cook on medium until pork is warm. Serve with refried beans, tortillas and pico de Gallo sauce. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Pico de gallo</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Mix all ingredients together: </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">1 onion chopped (1 cup)</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">1 cup chopped tomatoes</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">1 cup chopped cilantro </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">1 garlic clove pressed</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Juice of 1/2 lime</span></div>Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-19352335562588547142015-12-13T10:25:00.001-08:002015-12-20T14:41:45.755-08:00Day 8 pizza<div><br></div>We make a lot of pizza and focaccia. It's super easy if you have a bread maker. We have the 2 pound machine and we make a double batch all the time, separate it into 8 balls and freeze them into ziploc bags. Whenever we want pizza we take out a bag and whip up a few. Each bag usually makes 3 good sized thin crust pizzas. <div><br></div><div>Pizza crust recipe from our favorite bread baking book: this is for one pound machines. The handwritten info is for a double batch. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4U8ty5SfOZWRjSBgHOEiDVH_buIquOCMSTHYnzGzbm5XrkZ092X6UTP0TAG82IS_mm3-2zTJqZYJ54cs1JFbyZ8VtKcUiT6FZQZAQz0Z-yaovvH0MFG2c4RnrHl4SD9syVYyAoCQ7f4qF/s640/blogger-image-2121633058.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4U8ty5SfOZWRjSBgHOEiDVH_buIquOCMSTHYnzGzbm5XrkZ092X6UTP0TAG82IS_mm3-2zTJqZYJ54cs1JFbyZ8VtKcUiT6FZQZAQz0Z-yaovvH0MFG2c4RnrHl4SD9syVYyAoCQ7f4qF/s640/blogger-image-2121633058.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>Pizza sauce recipe. This is the most delicious sauce. Save it in a jar or use an old ketchup or pizza sauce bottle to store it in the fridge. It is the ultimate pizza sauce from Food. Com</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvGhCKDzbJYATa13mknJclmE9HF_Ri-9d5cUZThjkEOfjpViA5judLnD6Cwe65C5b-d1jiu8Ow6x6pSd4DaHanOyt6Dl7QBQ8G0x6EPBH2pz48IK3TD-Cg1Ilq4_hWXRnS2tj6EElm2p8P/s640/blogger-image-368115587.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvGhCKDzbJYATa13mknJclmE9HF_Ri-9d5cUZThjkEOfjpViA5judLnD6Cwe65C5b-d1jiu8Ow6x6pSd4DaHanOyt6Dl7QBQ8G0x6EPBH2pz48IK3TD-Cg1Ilq4_hWXRnS2tj6EElm2p8P/s640/blogger-image-368115587.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>Roll crust really thin and bake at 400 degrees on pizza stone or cookie sheet for a few minutes until slightly cooked and no longer sticky. Be sure not to overcook. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjClKE6KAhtzlP3kLIdu7Pozm45NfVHsfAZan64c00Lc1YJuAGMe6TfzhMbVoUXgFhKSp4wsuOgHx05oNxSlEcn2pWc6Mf6eYv-Qkn_hOH1TxhnLsnO90uYUe6DCnfCE88sc6kqChukWaFU/s640/blogger-image-1663258465.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjClKE6KAhtzlP3kLIdu7Pozm45NfVHsfAZan64c00Lc1YJuAGMe6TfzhMbVoUXgFhKSp4wsuOgHx05oNxSlEcn2pWc6Mf6eYv-Qkn_hOH1TxhnLsnO90uYUe6DCnfCE88sc6kqChukWaFU/s640/blogger-image-1663258465.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>Remove and add sauce, cheese and toppings of choice. These were caprese chicken pizzas. I mixed some pesto sauce in with the last bit of pizza sauce I had and spread that on the dough. Next I used some fresh mozzarella balls I had in the fridge. Slice fresh basil leaves into train strips, spread on pizza. Add some diced cooked chicken and diced tomatoes. Bake for 10-15 minutes until crust is golden brown. Watch pizzas as the thin crust can burn easily. You could make one large thick crust pizza, but we prefer the ultra thin Italian style best. This makes three 10 inch ultra thin crust pizzas. </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKW6sPc0mioIAqCEmgbkFgWx84a8edjaazdCZY4VaOcAoWgo6_pRyGwko_oElDlaEhZCOo1VXsdp40kdN5tOrgloXrMMOLlPEliEqwQhwMI4pdXFjR08DUTn46dWSvombV4UyC4DoK8hqq/s640/blogger-image--1804139519.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKW6sPc0mioIAqCEmgbkFgWx84a8edjaazdCZY4VaOcAoWgo6_pRyGwko_oElDlaEhZCOo1VXsdp40kdN5tOrgloXrMMOLlPEliEqwQhwMI4pdXFjR08DUTn46dWSvombV4UyC4DoK8hqq/s640/blogger-image--1804139519.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5994847985174863605.post-59674349239181043942015-12-13T09:50:00.001-08:002015-12-20T14:38:51.248-08:00Day 6 & 7<div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Lots of hustle and bustle lately around here. My dad just got out of the hospital and needs a lot of help. I'm still recovering from my appendectomy and moving kind of slowly. I </span>whipped up some meals for him with the food in his house. I combined a steak he had, with the other piece of the London broil I used for the broccoli beef. I cut it all into really small pieces, coated it in flour, and browned it in a tbsp of bacon grease and olive oil for flavor. </div><div><br></div><div>Recipe: beef stew</div><div><br></div><div>6 large red potatoes washed and cubed skin on</div><div>2 onions chopped into 1/2 in pieces</div><div>4 carrots sliced into 1/4 inch coins</div><div>4 celery robs split down the middle and chopped into small cubes</div><div>3 large garlic cloves diced</div><div>1 tsp Montreal steak seasoning (or salt and pepper to taste) </div><div>8 cups beef broth (I used the powdered kind added in to frozen veggie stock) <br><div>3 cups of chopped browned steak or beef stew meat. Any kind works. </div><div><br></div><div>After browning the meat in a cast iron skillet, I deglazed the pan with a cup of the broth. There is a lot of flavor in that stuff that sticks to the pan. Pour the liquid back into the pot with the stock. Add all ingredients to pot. Cook on high until boiling, then reduce flame to simmer. If you want stew to be thicker, add a tsp of cornstarch dissolved in water to the stew and stir. Keep adding cornstarch to desired thickness. </div><div><br></div><div>After cooking this, I realized it was overbalanced with meat, so I cooked up more veggies in a separate pot until they were the same doneness and then added them to the pot. This made a turkey roaster full of stew that we ate for 3 days. I can't believe I didn't get a photo. Next time I make it I'll add one. </div><div><br></div><div>On Tuesday night my daughter brought her new boyfriend to meet us for dinner. She asked for paella, without seafood! (He's not a fan) In most Spanish homes this is a crime. So we call it Paella but our Spanish friends would call it a nice rice. To the average American who doesn't know any better, it is fine. So we call this Gringo Paella. </div><div><br></div><div>1 linguicia or Portuguese style Hawaiian sausage sliced into coins</div><div>12-15 shrimp peeled and deveined (raw)</div><div>1 cup of chicken chopped into cubes (Thigh meat or little drumettes work best, but I only had breast tenders so I used 4)</div><div>One tilapia filet sliced into rectangular pieces 1 inch long</div><div>3 cups arborio rice</div><div>4-5 strands saffron steeped in 1/8 cup hot water</div><div>7 cups of broth (directions below) </div><div>3 tbsp sofrito (directions below) </div><div><br></div><div>Now the techniques used to make this are the same as the real paella, only difference is the proteins used. At the end I will list out the protein combinations you can use to make a more authentic Paella. </div><div><br></div><div>To start you need to make sofrito. This takes a few hours to do properly, but the flavor you get is so worth the work. We make a double batch and store it in a jar in the refrigerator with olive oil on top. I have some in the fridge that's been there for over 6 months. As long as you leave the sofrito covered with olive oil, you won't get mold. You aren't working the whole few hours, don't worry.., you just need to let it cook for a long time (think Nonna's spaghetti sauce) to develop the flavors. We have friends who just use a basic tomato sauce. We prefer sofrito. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNMmRKX_Yq7Qbyh2AdZpPETynLK4HE0XgsLjCyQNiVAfe-ycK9QAw9_smnqogopGaCJp1KEYLo8VOTDIbCUsUQNQnEmIKe8IEGbdClQzAx6OMv4a8ZQp5nuYLaK76Zq8aLeh6xUIiOXlnF/s640/blogger-image--1083263325.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNMmRKX_Yq7Qbyh2AdZpPETynLK4HE0XgsLjCyQNiVAfe-ycK9QAw9_smnqogopGaCJp1KEYLo8VOTDIbCUsUQNQnEmIKe8IEGbdClQzAx6OMv4a8ZQp5nuYLaK76Zq8aLeh6xUIiOXlnF/s640/blogger-image--1083263325.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div> 1 large can of diced or whole stewed tomatoes with juices</div><div>1-2 large onions sliced</div><div>1/2 cup olive oil</div><div>1 tsp smoked paprika</div><div><br></div><div>Brown onions in frying pan with 1/8 cup of the olive oil until golden brown. Add tomatoes and rest of ingredients. If using whole tomatoes break them down with a spoon. Cook on high until bubbling, reduce to simmer and cook for 3 hours, stirring to make sure it doesn't stick. When it's done and cooled a bit, purée with a blender for a smooth paste like sauce and put in a jar. Pour olive oil on top to cover before storing th the fridge. </div><div><br></div><div>For paella broth, peel the shells and tails off of the shrimp and add them to 8 cups of water in a pot. Boil the water. Some people add a cube of the powdered shrimp or ham broth. I had 1 shrimp cube and a jar of better than bullion vegetable broth I added a tsp of that with the shrimp shells. You just want to flavor the broth with seafood, vegetable broth or chicken or ham broth. Just don't use beef, it doesn't go with the flavor profile. You can get shrimp broth cubes at the store where you get chicken and beef broth. </div><div><br></div><div>Now, we have sofrito, check.., we have broth boiling, or already boiled and simmering to keep it hot, check! Time to start the paella. </div><div><br></div><div>First brown the rice in 3 tbsp olive oil, remove from pan and set aside. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8GWml7ocRIDanrIiM8TEybAf7T5KVurPN27sJA_GMWa-U8LSZRcewY3jvAorH9ShjL6EbrMLzwrbl-T6SCAe64YX5CPwR8b9dcUNjBOXa1g8MsEavdHaHmCOnUPjeZ3iu_xfq6xN-lQud/s640/blogger-image--1394881359.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8GWml7ocRIDanrIiM8TEybAf7T5KVurPN27sJA_GMWa-U8LSZRcewY3jvAorH9ShjL6EbrMLzwrbl-T6SCAe64YX5CPwR8b9dcUNjBOXa1g8MsEavdHaHmCOnUPjeZ3iu_xfq6xN-lQud/s640/blogger-image--1394881359.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>Brown the linguicia and set aside. Next cook the chicken until half done (if using breast or thigh meat like I did). If using drumettes, cook until almost done. Remove from pan. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGbuj2slde9nNEkdxM8LuEa2JFK34w-55Wxc4asSrr2rHYCq6dg_0rzLg7n6bB8M8I5jcV0pf6mcJ-3UhZyd262BXF3dzEyq41mD3p9zjisfHcQr2wibOAGHa5uKrJSqp_SA1oH8KtlclR/s640/blogger-image--334909686.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGbuj2slde9nNEkdxM8LuEa2JFK34w-55Wxc4asSrr2rHYCq6dg_0rzLg7n6bB8M8I5jcV0pf6mcJ-3UhZyd262BXF3dzEyq41mD3p9zjisfHcQr2wibOAGHa5uKrJSqp_SA1oH8KtlclR/s640/blogger-image--334909686.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>Add 3 tbsp sofrito to the pan, stir in the rice. Add 6 cups of broth, the saffron and water and bring to boil on MED HI heat. Stir in 1/2 tsp smoked paprika. (Trader joes has a good one) and the linguicia and chicken. Reduce heat to low and allow paella to continue cooking. DO NOT STIR! As water absorbs, keep checking rice for doneness. Add additional broth if rice gets too dry. Poor 1/2 cup at a time over entire pan, and then take wooden spatula and place it straight up and down in the rice. Wiggle it a little bit to make room for the broth to get to the bottom. It is important not to disturb the lovely crispy soccorat that is developing at the bottom of the pan. When rice is done, turn off flame, add shrimp snd tilapia and bell pepper in a pretty pattern on top, cover with dish towels and let it rest for 10 minutes. Serve with a lemon wedge. This serves 6 generous plate full portions. We cook enough for leftovers but usually there is only a little left and it gets gobbled up by someone for breakfast. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGh9AaDeNQ8V9SAgrCM6AXBKrDevX9TbEfhe9t8zU2zvVQCwpZNGLE0ESvgmq_eQ_DGO4YTBSXwYnD50bLCrSpyxkqfVSy5h1BOKTGibzZJN14KGe-l66dYP9HfEq-uahjpLS6j64sYBEZ/s640/blogger-image--2027868707.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGh9AaDeNQ8V9SAgrCM6AXBKrDevX9TbEfhe9t8zU2zvVQCwpZNGLE0ESvgmq_eQ_DGO4YTBSXwYnD50bLCrSpyxkqfVSy5h1BOKTGibzZJN14KGe-l66dYP9HfEq-uahjpLS6j64sYBEZ/s640/blogger-image--2027868707.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>Optional ingredients for more authentic paella </div><div><br></div><div> 1 bag of mixed seafood (mussels, scallops, calamari etc </div><div>Calamari rings and heads</div><div>1 bag raw mussels</div><div>1 bag raw clams</div><div>Pork ribs cut into small pieces</div><div>Fried eggplant</div><div>Green beans</div><div>Bell pepper any color</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>Karan Simonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04077561336841803796noreply@blogger.com0