Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mother's Day Riches

I received an email from several people about motherhood today. A beautiful poem about before I was a mom, I never did... all the things we moms do for love of our children. I was feeling very open and raw and vulnerable today. Emotions were right up in my throat. I cried several times, or bubbled out as my little Kayleigh says... with excess emotions. Missing my grandma, who was such a big influence on my life, and like a second mother to me. Worried for my own mom, who has been going through some tough times, and due to her incredibly empathic nature, seems to get ill when she is overwhelmed. Thankful for my beautiful kids. I felt so proud when my neighbor Bob told me last night, "I gotta say Karan, you have done a wonderful job raising them, they are all really great kids. Each so unique, and yet all of them great, respectful and funny." That made me feel really good. I take my job as a mother seriously. I know there have been those in my life who thought at times (in my single years) that I wasn't paying enough attention to them, or giving them what I should emotionally. Each and every one of them has thanked me, in their own ways, for being their mom, for being the best mom a kid could have, for being there for them, and for loving them. They are my gifts. They are my legacy. When I trip on how I have not accomplished enough in my life, I think of all of them, how wonderful they all are, and how they contribute. How they all are ecology and green conscious, they all want to be activists, and make a difference in the world. I just think of them... and I always feel better about my contribution to the world. How many lives will they touch in their own lifetimes with their beauty and love? How many people will feel better just for knowing them? If I had a chance to do something over in my life, I wouldn't change a thing. If I knew going in about all the pain I would go through in the relationships with their fathers, I would do it all over again if the end result would be those four incredible human beings. I am overwhelmed with love and gratitude for what I have in my life. I have everything I wanted. Today I feel full, of love, of hope, of gratitude, of joy, of pride... When I define who I am as a person, the first thing I say is, I am a Mom... for me, that little three letter word means the world.

1 comment:

Joanne Huffman said...

very well said, and, obviously, strongly fely.