He’s gone... my heartbreak.

This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to write.  Thursday afternoon Pascual lost his job.  He drove from the office to a hotel where he took his life.  He had been worried about losing his job for months and was consumed with grief and worry over the Corona Virus.  He had been very depressed, and in hindsight I see little signs now that I hadn’t seen before.  There is no way to express the sadness we all feel at his loss.  The world lost a wonderful human being.  I lost my soul mate, my kids lost a Dad, his parents lost their only son, and his sister her big brother, and little Toby his Yayo. What will we do without our Paskie.  How will we go on?  Who will I share my adventures with now?  How will I survive without his smiles and jokes and the tender way he loved me?  I will never be the same.  There is a huge hole where my heart used to be.  Now I am surrounded by my family.  There will be some dark days ahead.  I look forward to the day when we can recall the good times and laugh.  Right now, all I can do is cry and wonder why such a wonderful man could think that death was preferable to the beautiful life he had.  I am numb, and hollow.,,we are all completely stunned.  Please pray for us.