My mom always teaches in her learning to be psychic classes, that the best way to move past a painful incident in your life and get to forgiveness, you must look for the gifts. I have learned in the past 30 years that every painful thing has a gift in it. I’ve decided it’s time to look for the gifts I got in loving Paskie. The gifts we received in the loss of him will have to come later when I have more time and clarity. For now I will focus on the gift of him.
He was a gift of unconditional love to me in a time in my life where I had almost given up hope. He was the only man who ever looked deep enough to mine the diamonds in my soul.
He was a gift of humor from the very first day. Silly jokes, funny sayings, and laughter! So much laughter. We laughed through our entire wedding ceremony because of something he said innocently that turned into a huge joke.
He loved and accepted my children as his own. Gave all he had for our family so that we could live a beautiful life. He never considered them burdensome or baggage from my previous marriages. He just wanted to be part of a family and provided a stellar example to all of my kids on how a man can be kind, patient, strong, funny and responsible without showing a volitle temper.
His intellect was enviable. I always told him I married him for two things. His big heart and his big (wallet he would interrupt) brain. He was so smart. An IQ of 165, but he never made me feel inferior or stupid. He teased me about my math skills, or lack Therof. I never needed a calculator with him and his mental math skills around.
He could converse on so many subjects. It’s what made him so awesome at sales. He could sit at a dinner table with a prince and a pauper and they would all be laughing in 5 minutes. He had a knack of fitting in with all types of people. He was so well liked I used to say he was like Santa Claus. People loved to see him arrive and hated to see him go. He was the life of the party everywhere we went.
He was a polyglot. His language skills were so convenient, but they were also cool. I was always so impressed by the fact that he spoke so many. He was the perfect tour guide in Europe. My kids loved to hear him speak in different languages and were actually inspired to learn Spanish and French because of him.
He was fun! We went on so many adventures. Hikes, camping trips, beach days, Disneyland trips. When the kids moved out we started going on European adventures, but Hawaii was our favorite place. I’ll try not to let the loss of him ruin the islands for me. They will always remind me of my Big Kahuna!
We loved the same things... bargains, flea markets, garage sales, antique stores and thrift shops. Neither of us was very into sports. We both loved music and concerts, movies and opera, the symphony, wine tasting, museums, botanical gardens. Camping was a favorite too. We both loved the mountains and nature. He loved sculpting and I loved art. We had a dream to build a greenhouse/studio to house both our passions when we retired.
He was kind. He captured bugs and released them outside. He rescued everyone’s dying orchids. Animals and old people were drawn to him like the Pied Piper. He loved fish and animals and anything from the nature world.
He was an amazing cook. He was truly famous for his French bread. Any recipe he tried he usually cooked perfectly. Except the eggs he cooked for me the first time that burned. I tried so hard to eat them but they were horrible. Something we always laughed and joked about.
He was patient. He taught me to be much more patient. I was NEVER patient when I was younger. He just showed by example. Teaching with humor and kindness. Things didn’t rattle or phase him.
He was nurturing. He could grow anything with his green thumb. He loved flowers, like Ferdinand the bull, he could garden all day. He took tender care of all of us whenever we were sick or hurt. (Which happens to me a lot actually). He was cool under pressure, very skilled at nursing and had the most fantastic hands for massage. His healers hands would get so hot when he was doctoring you or giving you a massage. It always amazed me. Yet he was so intimated to hold our grandson for the first time. I encouraged him by reminding him it wasn’t much different from any animal baby he ever held. The look of complete and utter love on his face in that moment was priceless.
He was humble. Never overtly aggressive, my gentle giant. But inside, he was quietly competitive. He always strove to do his absolute best, working 8 to faint on his jobs. Putting in long hours, not because it was required, but because he had a high degree of integrity and he couldn’t give anything less than his all. He was never boastful or proud. Just did his best and moved on to the next task.
He was loved. So many people all over the world are heartsick with grief over his passing. The same words spoken over and over, He was one of the best human beings I ever knew. He was the nicest guy I ever met. He was a diamond. He was a once in a lifetime guy.
A long time ago before I met him I did an exercise in one of my moms classes where we made a chart of things we wanted and things we wanted gone from our life. I did the exercise and put the chart away in a drawer. Flash forward a couple of years. I’m married to a Pascual now. I find the chart. On it, all the things I said I wanted were things that were pipe dreams for me when I made the chart. None of them were in my life at that time. And the things I didn’t want were the things my life had been full of when I made the chart. I looked and was shocked to see that I now had everything on that chart that I had dreamed of, plus many more I’d never even considered. All of these things were in my life now because of Pascual. He made all my dreams come true and I never even knew it until I found that chart. That’s how much my life changed for the better because of him.
What a life we lived darling! How blessed We all were to have lived for a short time wrapped in the warmth of your embrace. We are better people for having known you.
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