A funny email today

I get lots of jokes form my Uncle Bob, but I rarely forward them. Not because they aren't funny, but just because I hardly ever have time to read them. I store them in a jokes file and every once in a while when I need a laugh, they are there waiting for me. I clicked on this one for some reason, and laughed so hard I had to share it. I have been complaining to Pascual about ALL of these things.... Being the Insurance Man that he is, he tells me that they are going to have to write me off as a total loss, and maybe some mechanic will buy me cheap and part me out.



IF MY BODY WERE A CAR.... If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it -- Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires. CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY